Of Curly Hair and Materia
by A-chan5
Summary: [oneshot]Zack discovers that Cloud's hair tends to curl when it's wet.


**Title: **Of Curly Hair and Materia  
**Warnings:** Err…wannabe fluff? Itsy bitsy hints at shounen-ai? It's really well hidden if there is any…Microscopic hints at Cloud/Zack, and if you're really, _really_ desperate, Zack/Sephiroth. Meh, who am I kidding...  
**Disclaimer:** Would I really be so desperately writing fanfic if I owned the boys?

**Summary:** Zack discovers that Cloud's hair tends to curl when it's wet.  
**Author's Note:** This was born from utter boredom. I had no idea where it was going, how it would end and had only a vagueplan of what would happen. If it makes no sense, please excuse me. Aliens ate my brain.

Really, he was lucky. Trudging through muck knee-deep while the humid air was about just as wet and stifling wasn't so bad. It was good training, and frankly, he was just walking. It wasn't as if he was stuck fighting or crawling in said substance. That would have been worse, so by definition, he was lucky.

Somehow, no matter how much he repeated it to himself, Cloud couldn't find the conviction to make himself believe his words.

Sheer will had kept him moving with the middle of the unit, because every other step he took was becoming more of an effort, but you wouldn't catch him flagging until he dropped dead on the stop, not when he was _lucky._

It was hard for him to see over the front of the unit's massive helmets, but by leaning just so –without breaking his marching position too obviously- he could see the three commanding officers, one walking and two fortunate ones leisurely riding chocobos. Of course, the difference in rank made it all the more obvious; Shinra didn't hand over its precious birds to anyone but the very best.

His foot caught in some hidden obstruction and he barely managed to catch himself before diving head first in the unknown mud-like substance. Hastening to resume his pace and look like he hadn't just stumbled, a task hard enough to do considering the snickers breaking out behind him, Cloud repeated his mantra that he was lucky, that it could be worse, that even if it were, he'd still be just for the chance of going on a field mission with those commanding officers.

The unit couldn't stop to rest until they reached drier terrain, logically, and Cloud understood the matter well enough. But if said terrain didn't show up soon enough, he'd end up face first in the mud and let himself drown in it for the sheer humiliation of not being able to keep up.

It finally did, after much too long, and the commanding officers didn't waste too much time getting the troop to set up camp, conscious of the general physical state of the men. Cloud's dark mood picked up slightly when he noticed that he wasn't the only one drenched in sweat as much as mud, tired and winded. Getting that stuffy helmet off had never felt so good.

Predictably, as soon as everything was set up, watches given and other official business handed over to the superior officer until it climbed up the ladder and couldn't be avoided anymore, Cloud was rewarded with Zack's much too enthusiastic presence.

"You're wet," he stated, brushing a rough hand in Cloud's hair and causing the boy to squirm away.

"I _did_ march the better part of the day in a wannabe swamp, sir," Cloud replied, cautiously keeping his distance from Zack's eager hand. The man liked to play in his hair so much, it must be some repressed childhood feeling speaking.

Not being one to allow his teasing victims to run away from him, especially not those of Cloud's special status, Zack closed in the distance without an effort and resumed his fascinated playing in the kid's humid hair, finally throwing a restraining arm around his shoulders when he tried squirming away again.

Cloud valiantly tried to fight the arm off, but the bigger man and mako-enhanced Soldier had no trouble whatsoever to keep him under control. From his contemplative 'hmms' and 'haaa', Zack looked like he was finding an interesting research project in his hair. It wasn't even so spiky this time, flattened by the helmet and drooping under the water's weight.

"What's so interesting in wet hair?" Cloud grumbled, keeping up the fight and trying to arch his neck up to see Zack's face, because frankly, with the sounds he was producing, the Soldier's face must be a sight to see.

"It's not just wet hair! It's your wet hair!" Zack answered, sounding as if Cloud was retarded for not spending a considerable amount of his free time staring at his own hair in a mirror, fascinated.

Puzzled and starting to really be tired of being in that hunched position, Cloud opened his mouth to reply to that statement when he felt a sudden, strong pressure against his scalp, along with a bit of unwarranted violent hair-pulling. His yelp came out much too high to his liking, occasioning a laugh from Zack.

"Zack! What the hell!" he nearly shrieked, the pressure and pulling not relenting and trapping him under the Soldier's ministrations more successfully than the hold on his shoulder. Zack ignored the offended and rude tone, instead chuckling to himself.

Cloud suddenly felt a sense of deadly foreboding.

"It's curling!" Zack exclaimed, fingers now working around a certain spot in the higher part of the back of his head, pushing all other locks aside none-too-gently.

Cloud spluttered and stuttered for a few moments before he could recover his ability of speech. His hair was certainly not…curling! When he said as much, Zack laughed harder and grabbed a precise lock of hair sharply, as if trying to shove it forward and under Cloud's eyes.

"Yes, it is. It's becoming all wavy and curly!" Zack assured, not relenting on his hold. It wasn't that pulling hair hurt that much, but it was a sort of pain that seemed to pull directly at the nerve activating watery eyes. Scrunching his eyelids together tightly in order to stop the humiliating gesture from spilling forth, Cloud reached back to grab Zack's hand, squeezing the wrist as tightly as he could.

"Damn it, Zack, my hair isn't long like yours, it _can't_ be pulled in my face!" he snapped, trying to keep his voice from squeaking. Well, he certainly had a newfound respect for catfights between longhaired women. It looked funny enough, with no real punches being exchanged, but he had had no idea pulling hair would be so bad, if less damaging.

While Cloud's grip on his wrist was far from harmful, or even more than remotely painful, something in the kid's voice must have caught at Zack. The Soldier loosened his hold just enough not to completely let go.

"Cloud? You ok? You sounded weird there," he inquired, playing with the lock more gently this time. However, to Cloud's horror, it felt more like he was twirling the hair around his fingers, worsening the curl.

"You were tearing my hair out," Cloud stated, feeling a blush crawl over his face as he realized how foolish it must have sounded. Of course Zack wouldn't do anything of the like, and he usually was very careful with his strength around him, so Cloud deduced it must be yet another weakness on his part. Feeling even more stupid, he held back the need to duck his head by a mere inch, knowing Zack would be even more curious if he did and would tease just as more.

"I was? I didn't feel like I was pulling more than I normally do," Zack mused, twirling and twirling the lock of hair, chuckling at how it bounced in a little twist when he released it.

"You don't usually go yanking at my hair…" Cloud countered. True, the Soldier loved to ruffle his hair into an even bigger mess, but he'd never pulled at it like that.

Zack's hand paused, occasioning an automatic wince from Cloud. Even though he couldn't see him, the boy could perfectly imagine the expression on Zack's face, as if something incredibly amusing was being revealed to him.

"You're a little scalp-softy! I bet you don't use a comb often, do you?" he teased, giving little playful tugs at his hair.

Cloud's eyes widened and he started squirming again, silent curses running through his head. Wasn't it enough that he was wet, tired and generally aching everywhere? Now he had to look like a soft scalped, curling chocobo head. He just knew Zack would bring up the resemblance soon enough.

"What does using a comb have to do with anything?" Cloud asked, miffed and cheeks hot, refusing to let Zack win this round. It was a wishful thought, however, seeing his already losing position.

"Everything!" the Soldier replied grandly. "It builds resistance, you see. I've used one enough that, tugging like I just did, I don't feel a thing. Look."

No, he couldn't look, but the sudden disappearance of any intruding hand in his hair was proof enough that Zack was probably pulling at his own in demonstration. His peace was brief, however, and the fingers were soon back to twirling happily.

"I can see why." Cloud muttered, feeling vengeful, and he grinned when he felt Zack pause before he chortled.

"I know, I'm a hopeless case. Can't blame a guy for trying."

Awkward silence fell, or rather, awkward in Cloud's case, because Zack was making content humming sounds as he temporarily abandoned that one lock in search of others like some lice-eating monkey, finally finding his treasure hoard at that back of his neck where shorter hair curled under the humidity.

…And he was not going to purr. He was hunched uncomfortably, trapped under Zack's arm and prey to his probing fingers. He was not going to show any signs of pleasure, no matter how being scratched on the sensible skin of the neck like that felt good.

Whether Zack was aware of the effects his hair twirling had on Cloud was a mystery, but the kid was having a hard time pretending to want his freedom. In a half-hearted lunge, he managed to free himself a fraction from Zack's loosened grip before the Soldier caught him again. Thanks to gravity and momentum, Cloud's head was bent lower, allowing Zack a better access at the frizzy hair. And at sensible skin.

The moment the Soldier's rough fingers hit that particular spot, Cloud would really have purred if he were anything feline. However, being quite human, he produced no such sound, but he did become rapidly sluggish, the idea of curling up on the ground and dozing while Zack played in his hair like that sounding suddenly very attractive.

Zack knew the reasons of Cloud's involuntary slump against his arm very well. His smile was impish, but something soft danced in his eyes behind the mischief.

"Cloud? Anything wrong? Because you're getting heavy on the arm, you know," he suddenly said, breaking the silence.

Cloud opened eyes he hadn't realized he'd closed, having half a mind to tell him to shut up and scratch.

"I'm ok," he mumbled, voice oddly drowsy. What _was_ wrong with his neck for him to melt into a puddle of goo after just a few touches?

"Alright, but if we're not going anywhere, might as well get comfortable. And find somewhere a bit more private."

Those words were like a bucket of icy water emptied over his head. His eyes snapped up and he realized that, indeed, other troopers were all around, some clearly amused and so obviously not looking at them they could've just stared. His face heated up in a flash and he resumed his trashing with even more energy.

"Zack! Let me go!" he snarled, feeling the distinctive instinct to run and hide. A deadly bolt of lighting also sounded good right about now. This was so humiliating, why did it have to be witnessed by so many people?

"But your curly hair is fun!" Zack whined, not letting go now that the situation had taking this familiar turn.

"It is _not curly_," Cloud spat, grabbing the hand over his head and trying to get it off by digging his nails in it, but having no nails to speak of, it didn't work too well.

"Yes it is. It looks like a chocobo with wavy crest feathers all fluffed up," Zack remarked intelligently, pushing one of Cloud's most sensitive buttons.

"Zaaack! Let. Me. Go." Usually that kind of tone had a success rate close to nil, but either Zack was tired of the little game, either he'd found another way to tease the boy.

"You really don't like it?" he asked with the 'whipped-puppy' tone to his voice that was just as bad as the teary chocobo eyes.

"No!" Cloud practically yelled, sensing victory and not believing it possible, not with Zack. There must be a trap, but until it had sprung, the best he could do was get out of his grip.

The Soldier sighed dramatically, as if he'd been robbed of his very reason for existence. Used to the man's antics, Cloud held no pity whatsoever and pushed his advantage, fighting the hold to prove his point.

"Well, I guess it can't be helped. The only way to go is to dry them, I suppose," he sighed, the perfect victim resigned to his cruel fate. The moment his grip loosened enough on his shoulder, Cloud was off and at a safe enough distance.

His first gesture was to rake his hands in his hair repeatedly, trying to find the lock Zack had been tugging and twirling to give it back a more normal aspect.

"Dry them?" he asked suspiciously, not believing it possible on a field mission. Besides, his hair had never seen so much as a hair blower in his whole short life.

Zack brightened slightly but kept his kicked-puppy demeanor. Even his hair was drooping discontentedly.

"Yeah. The heat'll get them to straighten out," he explained and a gleam brightened his eyes for just a moment. Cloud knew right then that he wasn't off the hook just yet. His face was still burning with humiliation, but at least Zack wasn't playing in his hair anymore.

"With what? I'm warning you, I won't try leaning over a fire just to get them dry," he said cautiously, feeling the trap around him and trying to tread through without springing it.

Zack's grin finally broke free and he shook his head.

"Of course not! I've got something way more practical!" With a triumphant pose, he pointed to the green materia settled in his arm guard.

Cloud felt numb for all of a moment. His mind had drawn a blank at the sheer impossibility of Zack's suggestion. The man was meaning to use a _fire_ _materia _on his _head. _He hadn't thought the Soldier was that crazy. Apparently he'd been wrong.

"And exactly how is that spell any better than a campfire?" he managed to ask, staring dumbly at the green stone. Between having a destructive fire spell loosed on his head and leaning over a tame flame, he'd gladly choose the later.

"Well, this materia sorta goes hot just before the casting, so if I manage to keep it just on the edge between incantation and spell, we should have a little heater to move around your head and dry your hair with!"

Cloud's eye twitched. Really, Zack was _that_ much crazier than he'd ever calculated. This was just plain suicide.

"You mean to experiment on spell-casting with a fire materia that could blow off my head if your theory is wrong?" he asked, feeling tired and not nearly as amused as his friend.

"You make it sound so bad," Zack whined. "Are you scared?" he added, his lips curving up in a suspecting smirk.

The boy's earlier feelings of exasperation were immediately replaced by anger. The man was actually suggesting that he was scared when he was being reasonable and trying to keep his head on his shoulders? Apparently humiliating him in public wasn't enough, but he had to tease him about that particularly sensible subject just as openly. He already was considered enough of a runt in his unit without giving the guys more ammo.

"I'm not scared!" he hollered, fists bunching at his sides. "Your idea is…is suicidal! I'm not afraid, I just want to keep my head where it is!" he spat, and when he saw Zack's smug smile at having successfully pissed him off, he couldn't stop himself. He'd lunged at the man without thinking.

Zack dodged him with infuriating ease and laughed openly, not surprised by Cloud's reaction in the least.

"Aw, come on. Show the man some faith. Don't you trust me?" he asked, giving him the hurt look again.

"No!" The word cracked through the air like a whip. Something flashed in Zack's eyes at that moment, almost as if he'd truthfully felt that word's bite, but it was quickly swallowed by his fake hurtfulness.

"You're harsh, man," Zack replied, scratching behind an ear sheepishly, and it was as real as he'd let on in the open like this. However, in his angered state, Cloud missed it all.

"Is the Lieutenant bothering you, Private Strife?"

Time stopped. Cloud froze with his mouth hanging open, ready to say something, and with slow deliberateness, looking like a fish out of water, he turned to see Sephiroth standing slightly to the side, neutral expression just a tad curious.

_Well, shit._

He'd just been about to go yelling and probably insulting an officer so much higher than him in the hierarchy it made his head spin to think of the consequences the General might have a mind to hand out. He was so used to being able to talk freely around Zack, he'd forgotten that this time, other, higher-ranking soldiers would be around to notice and disapprove. Not that that had never happened. They'd made a similar scene before other Soldiers a few times, but they had always just found it funny and teased Zack about no being too harsh and laughed it off, but this was Sephiroth. He wouldn't just overlook this and allow him to walk away without reprimand and punishment.

And he really should say something.

"No, sir! I mean, he was…but not really, and I was just…er…no, I mean…" Cloud stammered, unable to look directly into the General's eyes, and felt the urgent need to become a mole and crawl down some dark, dark hole. Now he'd done it, he'd made a fool of himself before Sephiroth. At least he'd had the reflex to salute, but that was a poor relief.

"At ease, Private." Sephiroth looked at the blushing, squirming Cloud, then at Zack grinning so wide his smile seemed to want to run off his face. "Judging by the number of decibels you were producing to assault Lieutenant Zack's eardrums, I would believe to the contrary."

That was bad. Sephiroth didn't sound disapproving, but he never really sounded like _anything._ He was starting to feel like he'd be charged for assault on a superior officer, if not anything else. After all, even a Soldier's eardrums were more important than his little temper, and he really had been out of place, and he was so in trouble.

"I'm sorry, sir," he repeated, his voice no better. "I understand, sir, and I'm ready to accept my punishment," he added, courageously looking up to meet Sephiroth's eyes for a moment before they irremediably returned to the floor, his terrorized expression worsening.

Having found great interest in the doubtful quality of the ground pattern, Cloud missed Sephiroth's slightly startled look directed to him before he turned it to Zack. The Soldier was nearly folded double by laughter and he had shoved a fist in his mouth to stifle his hilarity. Seeing no forthcoming answer from that part, Sephiroth returned to staring at Cloud, trying to figure out exactly why the trooper was saying he'd merit punishment.

"Why would I issue reprimands, Private? If the Lieutenant is proving a bother to you, then he is the one at fault," he said with just a tiny little edge of puzzlement in his voice.

Cloud's eyes widened in surprise and he felt like gaping again, but even he could maintain a certain measure of control over himself in order not to look too much the fool in front of Sephiroth. Although he'd done such a fabulous job so far, it was probably impossible to make it worse.

"But, I mean…I've been yelling, sir, and I have no right. And even if Lieutenant Zack is a prob…well, not a problem, but I mean…er, a bother, I have no place to be rude and, well, I'm sorry, sir," he mumbled once again, although he was starting to wonder on the nature of this encounter. The General still didn't seem anywhere near angry, and his words were indicating in that sense as well. Maybe it was a trap.

Sephiroth peered at him again like he was some curious puzzle, stretching a silence only broken by Zack's annoying little guffaws.

"Aw, man, let the kid off the hook, Seph! If you continue looking at him like that, he's going to die of a heart attack or something," Zack finally interrupted, finally recovering his ability to talk.

The General trained his glowing green eyes on the Soldier and his curiosity was replaced by faint annoyance.

"From what I have witnessed, you were more susceptible to cause such a reaction, Lieutenant," Sephiroth countered, refusing to play in Zack's game.

Cloud had trouble believing all of this wasn't just a nightmare. Was the General with a big 'G' really taking his defense? It just seemed…too improbable. Thankfully, with the man's presence the other troopers had made themselves scarce. He had had no wish to add that sort of bullet in their guns.

"I'm just teasing him; he won't go dying on me for that. But he's sure you're going to court martial him or something, the wait is driving him crazy," Zack explained helpfully, inching closer to Cloud to poke him in the side. Hard.

The kid jumped, startled a bit too much by the simple gesture, and squawked in that manner of his that reminded everyone that he was still a kid. His infuriated and ashamed blush was priceless.

"Is that true, Private Strife?" Sephiroth asked carefully, and Cloud could see that the General really was finding it hard to understand why he'd believe such a thing.

"Yes, sir," he answered simply, because it was the fastest way to be sure he was going to, amazingly enough, walk out of this unscathed. Not that he deserved it, but he'd still be happy to retain his doubtful freedom and life.

"See? I told you, Seph. He's such a little stickler for military protocol and regulations, it makes you want to force him to break them," Zack commented, slugging an arm across Cloud's shoulder and nudging his side, causing the boy to squirm in reflex. However, considering who was standing before him, watching calmly, he couldn't find the will to struggle against a superior officer too obviously.

"Such as the use of a material for frivolous matters unrelated to combat?"

Zack blinked, having thought that Sephiroth had missed that part, then grinned sheepishly.

"Nobody really follows that regulation anyways, you included," Zack continued and he had to tighten his grip when Cloud froze in the telltale sign that he was about to bolt.

The trooper was terrified. The man he admired the most was idly chatting with the other man he admired and loved the most. Well, not so much idly talking as discussing whether or not Zack would be allowed to use his fire materia to dry his hair. And the Soldier was actually suggesting that _Sephiroth_ broke some of the military regulations? Somehow, Cloud had the acute feeling that he did not belong here and that he was eavesdropping on a conversation he was not supposed to hear.

Sephiroth sighed imperceptibly and shot Zack a look that clearly indicated that he was tiring of the argument.

"That is not the question, Zack. What you plan on doing has high risks of failing and I do not wish to file a death certificate with Strife's name on the header," he said with just that touch of weariness to his tone.

Oh gods. He was using first names now, and he'd dropped the 'private' in his case. Amongst the embarrassment, Cloud found the means to feel incredibly proud and lucky at having the General drop the formality ever so slightly.

Zack tilted his head to the side pensively, his face slowly brightening as a genius' idea struck him.

"You could do it, Seph! You know materia enough to cast a fire level three in your sleep to fry someone the other side of the door and not wake up," he suggested. However, his proposition was not meant with enthusiasm from either party. Cloud started trying to run again, and Sephiroth had a guarded expression that prevented him from knowing if he was amused of annoyed.

"Why would I try such a thing?"

Two powerful hands suddenly grasped Cloud and turned him around, using all of their Soldier strength to prevent him from going anywhere, then craned his head down. To his demise, Cloud could feel Zack's hand going at the curling hair of his neck again. Right now was _not_ the moment for him to start purring.

"Because the kid hates his curly hair and wants to straighten them out. But isn't just the cutest chocobo fluff there is? With the fire materia, we could dry them all curly like that as well and then he'd be the best chocobo chick head around."

Silence reigned for a moment. A tumbleweed tumbled away before anyone reacted to Zack's revealing of his initial plan. Surprisingly enough, it was Cloud who spoke first.

"Zaaaaaaaack..!" he growled, fighting the hand and realizing too late that he'd missed to use any form of title or respect when addressing him. A 'sir' hung at his lips but he held it back, conscious of how it would seem even more foolish to add it now.

Sephiroth ignored that lapse and stared at Zack as if to decide if the Soldier modifications hadn't had more serious consequences on his mind that he'd believed. Zack stared right back, silently challenging him. For some unknown reasons, Sephiroth finally extended his hand, asking for the materia in question.

"I knew you wouldn't resist the call of the fuzzy chocobo head," Zack declared triumphantly, but he'd widened his eyes in surprise at Sephiroth's gesture. He hadn't expected him to comply with doing it.

Sephiroth took the offered green orb and watched the other two men for a moment. Zack seemed to be supporting Cloud's weight as his knees momentarily buckled.

The boy was surprised, but after some thought, he realized he shouldn't be. Of course the General wouldn't let him off without even a verbal warning at how he'd been rude and insulting to a superior officer. He guessed this was his punishment. He just hadn't expected Sephiroth to listen to Zack's preposterous suggestion, much less execute it himself.

Sephiroth fitted the materia in a free slot in the Masamune, but he made no sign of using it. Instead, he turned his head towards where the first watches were organizing themselves and spotted the third commanding officer, Cloud's unit leader.

"Lieutenant Zack, you will not take any punishing actions against Private Strife. Private, which is your watch?" Sephiroth asked and the words erased Zack's smile in an instant.

Cloud squirmed and wriggled and writhed until he was facing Sephiroth again, then adopted the best salute he could under Zack's restraining arms.

"Second watch, sir," he answered, his voice steadier and without its annoying squeak now that he was asked an easy question. That, and he'd just realized that the General had taken Zack's materia not to dry his hair, which would have been the death of him by pure humiliation, but to prevent said Soldier from attempting the operation himself. It did wonders to help him fight Zack's hold.

"You know I'd never hurt the kid, Seph. You can hand the materia over. You know, I might need it if the camp is attacked," he tried, affecting the worst, most shameful kicked-puppy look he was capable of.

Something Cloud had never expected to see in his whole life happened then, something no regular trooper thought was even possible. A ghost of a smile flitted over the General's face, something genuine and truly, innocently amused at Zack's fake pain and the mocking argument they had been exchanging. His whole face lifted, his neutral and guarded mask melting for a moment and a gleam shining over the mako glow.

"Rest. Being of the second watch, you both need to recover your strength. It's an order."

Military reflexes kicking, Cloud snapped a salute, followed by a sloppier Zack. Sephiroth nodded slightly in answer before turning on his heels, his carefully guarded expression recovered as he made his way to Cloud's unit commander.

"Zack…second watch?" Cloud blurted out, the General's last words having finally registered to his brain.

The Soldier ruffled his hair one last time before releasing the kid with a hearty laugh.

"Didn't I tell you? You'll have to stick with my rounds. I'm not going to let that adorable chocobo head of yours un-curl," Zack answered proudly. Any traces of his previous suggestion at being uncomfortable without his fire materia were gone.

Cloud's eyes grew blank and he held back a weary sigh. This was going to be such a long night…

Well, at least it was going to be a long night with Zack. After all, he was lucky. It could've easily been much, much worse.

ooo

The End

Author's Last Breath: I had great fun writing this, and I'm wondering if it would be worth it to write a companionfic. Hmm…-ponders- Well, if people ask for it, it would sure help me along. -grin-

A-chan


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